It doesn’t matter how much I think I know, how long I’ve been a healer, how much training I do as a therapist; I am always in my state of growth. I’m always open and receptive to continue to grow, to continue to learn about myself, to continue to learn about others. If I am not prepared to do this, how could I ever be there for any client or anybody else I ever deal with in my life that I profess to be supporting? How could I walk beside sometime in their hour of need, if I have not experienced the agony and the joy of personal and spiritual growth myself?
Therefore, this article is going to be about my journey of self discovery, from where I am right now. I have done a lot of work on myself in the past 30 or so years but that doesn’t mean that I have finished that work, or that I ever will, because our development is a journey that is always ongoing. I don’t believe that we ever actually “get there”, wherever “there” is. We are always work in progress! Indeed, would our minds not shut down if we ever felt we had reached our journey’s end? I believe that there is no place and time, in our physical manifestation, when everything will be completed – we have committed to continuing the struggle just simply by being here. The point is, the journey life takes us on, and your and my commitment to meeting its challenges and joys on the way.
So, here I am, about to relate my current journey of self discovery. I have some wisdom, just a little! Perhaps just enough to know that I don’t know that much! Perhaps just enough to know that there is so much more for me to learn and that I am open to continue that journey; to continue to learn to be more and more honest with myself; to continue to access more of my unconscious; to continue to access more of my spiritual awareness and continue growth in all layers of consciousness.
I had difficult family surroundings growing up. They weren’t the worse in the world by any stretch of the imagination; I didn’t suffer for lack of a roof over my head; I didn’t suffer for lack of food or cleanliness or clothes: all my basic needs were met. But psychologically I suffered tremendously. There was cruelty and beating, general lack of love; rejection was constant. I grew up feeling that I didn’t deserve to occupy the space I occupy. I have fought with that in one form or another for most of my life; sometimes with conscious awareness, sometimes not; dipping in and out of the level of pain that conscious awareness brings. But it is only through our conscious awareness of the level of pain that we can come to terms with it and perhaps deal with it in a different way.
For me it is important to understand. To develop an appreciation of how my mind works, how my emotions surface and how both affect my behaviour.
That is why I trained in graphology (handwriting analysis), healing and Reiki, counselling and psychotherapy. Through having a deeper appreciation of who I am I am better able to “be there” for myself and for my clients.